The snails are placed on your face and left to glide around your face, leaving behind their slime, which can recover damaged skin.
At the Four Season, no less, you can get spanked with cacti! Don't worry. They say they dismember the pokey plants of their thorns before they heat them in warm water. Then they cut them in half and use the gooey interior, like aloe vera gel, to soothe your skin. (Sign me up!)
Gua Sha!!!! Ouch!!! I know a therapist in Jackson that does this, so if you are so inclined send me an e-mail and I will get you in touch with her. I've been Rolfed and had other "bruising", although very therapeutic techniques, but I am seriously afraid of this. Others say it is totally worth it, but, um, I don't think so!
A spoon, coin, or similar object is used to scrape problem areas to relieve pain and tightness. Ugggh!
Savin' the best for last. This is crazy, unless you like Russian Roulette or Psycho-killer Dismemberment. Huff Post reports that this is an "ancient Chinese practice". Are ya' sure it isn't Japanese, like a sushi chef! (laughing out LOUD) The pounding, aka - petrissage, relieves stress and improves blood flow. No kidding!!! The image in my head is of a LOT of blood flowing from my amputated limb. I think my "device of choice" is a couple of bamboo rods, or heck, why not just some good old fashioned karate chops with your blunt hands.